Our safety protocol for suicide and self-harm

Last updated October 16, 2026. Hersider is operated by Ask Earl LLC, Tennessee.

Hersider's characters are AI. They are coaches and friends for dating and relationships, not therapists, counselors, or emergency services. Some conversations get heavy, though, so this is what we do when someone may be at risk.

If you're in danger right now, call 911. In the US you can call or text 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline) or text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line) at any time. Outside the US, find a local line at findahelpline.com.

What our AI is built not to do. Our characters are instructed and tested never to encourage, romanticize, or give information about suicide or self-harm, including methods or means. They never treat these topics as a joke or a flirt. Every reply passes through an automated safety check before you see it, and replies that fail are blocked.

How we detect risk. We use automated checks on messages, not human readers, to spot signs that someone may be thinking about suicide or self-harm. These range from passing hopelessness to a stated plan. Our risk levels are modeled on widely used, evidence-based screening practice, the Columbia Suicide Severity Rating Scale. Automated detection is imperfect. It can miss things and can misread jokes. We tune it to err on the side of checking in.

What happens when we detect risk.

  1. The character stops coaching and flirting and responds with care. She takes what you said seriously and asks directly how you're doing.
  2. A crisis resources card appears in the chat, with one-tap options to call or text 988, text Crisis Text Line, or call 911.
  3. If there are signs of immediate danger, the character urges you to contact 988 or 911 now and stays with you in the conversation. She does not change the subject.
  4. For the next several days the character stays in a supportive mode, with no flirting or sales prompts. She checks in kindly and keeps pointing you toward people and professionals who can help.

What we can't do. No one at Hersider monitors chats live, and we can't call emergency services for you or see where you are. If you or someone else is in danger, contact 911 or 988 yourself.

Harm to others. If someone talks about hurting another person, or about being hurt (including abuse or sexual violence), the character won't help with harm and will share resources: 911, the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788), and RAINN (1-800-656-4673).

Privacy. We count how many times crisis resources are shown, as anonymous totals with no names or account details. We use those totals to improve the system and to report to the California Office of Suicide Prevention as the law requires. We don't share your conversations with anyone because of a crisis, except where the law requires it or to protect someone's life.

18+ only. Hersider is for adults. AI companions may not be suitable for some minors.

Reviews. We review this protocol and test our characters against it at least every quarter and after any serious incident. Questions or concerns: hello@hersider.com.

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